Newcastle United has appointed Gen Raheel Sharif, the current commander-in-chief of the Islamic Military Counter Terror Coalition (IMCTC) and former chief of the Pakistan army staff, as their new manager. The announcement came moments after the Saudi Arabian Public Investment Fund took over the football club.
Following an announcement of the takeover by Saudi Arabia, several names were considered to replace Bruce, including Eddie Howe, Chris Wilder, and Roberto Martinez. Some have suggested that Antonio Conte or Zinedine Zidane may take on the managerial role at Newcastle.
Sources have also confirmed the implementation of capital punishment for players who fail to meet the new strict training criteria.
Disclaimer: This news is intended for satire and entertainment purposes, the content of which is not true.
Source: The Dependent